我也不知道我在想什么

最近真的很无奈，一直弄到他不高兴就连他在烦，我也不知道。。。我们最近很冷谈，冷得我都不知道该怎么回复你发的短信。。。

这一整个星期都和生病一起度过，先是拉肚子后是严重的伤风感冒。那天我生病请假了，很高兴他送上了爱心粥和热腾腾的糖水，虽然胃口不好但我还是坚持两样都有吃。

有时我会觉得情侣间不一定要常见面，常见面反而会觉得腻、很烦。或许我们的想法都不同，所以现在都搞得双方都不愉快，互相在猜测对方到底在想什么。我真的曾经把我的想法告诉他，过后他真的会改过，可是后来过了不久又重犯了。我知道没有人是完美的，当然在他心中我有很多缺点也没有改，我很想改可是我真的办不到。最近他告诉我他最近没钱了，我也不知道该怎么帮他，因为我最近也过得很困难，工作也做得不开心，所以我唯一想到的就是减少我们的约会次数这当然我们的消费也自然会跟着减少。这个也不能当面告诉他，我知道他会接受不到的。烦。。。

每到月尾我都会有股冲动会和你吵架，弄到你不开心。我真的很想知道为什么？？？
为什么我总会在每个月的这个时候想和你吵架、离开你？？？
为什么总是在这个时候我会找出你一罗罗的缺点？？？
为什么在这个时候我就不是我？？？变成另一个人？？？
为什么只是一点小事我就小题大作？？？
为什么我就不能像平时一样？？？

有时我真的很烦，有问题也不知道找谁诉苦。我很想告诉你，可是有些事情告诉你后反而会变严重。我真的想过，如果我们真的结婚了，后果会怎样？？？虽然这个想法很遥远，但是对我而言是个我很想客服困难。总是觉得我不能定下来，一直要自由要做什么就尽管去做也不用理会另一半的感受，这段恋情真的让我投降了。它真的让我真真地去感受何为的谈恋爱？？？何为互相尊重？？？何为不顾一切坚持维持这段恋情？？？

我有时真的很害怕和他说话，他有时真的很凶虽然他说不是但我真的那么认为。他和之前的男朋友真的相差很远，无论是他们的优点或缺点都相差很远。优点-他们不比他好也没有他细心；缺点-他们没有他多也没有他暴躁和没有耐性。

或许如果他看到这篇文章后会再次地说我又伤害他了吧。。。=（

mOOdy~sick :(

Recently i feel like very moody...on job..love & health...

job~:
~> i feel that this job like not really my strength...it needs overturn customer carefully some more has to walk to many shops under hot sun..
~> i did agree that it gives lot of income even time is very flexible..but i understand that it doesnt what im looking for..
~> it was 5th day im working here..but i still feel strange with my colleague..they not even come and talk with me..like not friendly..maybe it's cause of im quiet and they dont feel like want to talk to me???

love~:
~> these days i feel like im easy angry on him even it's a small method but i will thought it as a big issue..
~> i starting care on his outlook even feel like want to change for him..i know it's bad but i really feel like want to do that..
~> mummy still keep scolding me while she knows that im hanging out with him..even keep scold me fat and she dont likes fats..i really have no idea how im going to tell him even thought i did told him on it before and he seen like try to change with do exercise at first but now like did stop it..
~> sometimes he use to raise up his voice on me without realization even it's not my fault and he always follow him own opinion hard to accept on what others saying..

health~:
~> these days i keep having heahache..i think it's cause of whole day long been heat at outside and mix with the cool in car..
~> i did received a free treatment at London Weight Management as i joined it but haven paid all of the course..during the consultation i did realize that i was put much on weight as the highest i never had before..much of my skin problems are cause of my fat too..i even are not normal and too fat now..at the moment im really sad and did made the decision of join the course..but i never tell anyone on it..even for him..i also dont know how im going to tell him..as now i have eat simple and light foods only..
~> i feel like very emotion which i was never went for "big business" for 2 days long..i exactly can feel much of toxin in my stomach and hanging around..

i really hope that i can settle all of this problem as soon as possible..

florence..nothing is impossible..U CAN DO IT!!!

得不到的东西永远都是最珍贵的

人很奇怪的，太容易得到的东西都不会珍惜但一旦失去了才晓得它的可贵。就像当你常常见到一个人，你不会想说如果有一天你再也见不到他或是大家都太忙没机会在碰面了，很自然的就不会珍惜大家相处的欢乐时光。

本来我都不太明白这个道理，直到最近我开始工作时间也比较充足当然也是相当的累，所以没有天天见2号。以前天天和他出去约会时，我承认我有时会觉得很不耐烦甚至他说的每一句话我都不想听也不怎么会正式去爱他和关心他，直到最近我们见面的次数减少了可是我却发现我更加地爱他和关心他，介意他对我说的每一句话，当然也会一直想念他。这大概就是所谓的得不到的东西反而会更加珍惜吧。

有时也在想爱情的过程中也必须慢慢地去栽培以便种出一棵幸福的树苗。在慢慢的过程中当然大家也会比较了解对方，而不是因为在对方身上想得到什么利益而去做；如果是为了利益的话，谈恋爱岂不是在浪费双方的时间吗？那当初又何必在一起呢？？？回想到以前我真的很后悔，都因为心软而接受追求者的追求而浪费了我那么多的时间和别人的真心，不过从他们的身上也看清很多关于男生的事和性格。

在接下来的日子里我珍惜我现在所拥有的。谢谢你对我所做的一切，尤其是你的包容、细心和付出，我相信我们一定会一起克服各种的困难和分享所有的快乐的。。。^^