my LOVE......???

As wat's on my title...it's really confusing me by the time now...once i feel lonely..it wasnt anyone chasing me...once i had bf...it's some chaser around me...by now...it's 5 include my bf...between my chaser...dear wasnt the best...many of them better than him...romantic than him...caring than him...
Y should i said tat???i should speak out all the goods on him wat...he is caring...always in the good emotion when wif me...respect on me...im always the best & the prettiest in his heart...im always the one who make all the decision...how good he treat me...but...how could i din feel sweet on it???it's long 4 me 2 think over it...wat's wrong between us...then only i realize tat the problem is i doesnt love him...the cause of me 2 accept him is he treat me good...wat i wan is not only tis...i dun like 2 make all the decision...i wan some soft argue when coupled...i wan my dear make some romantic when v dated but not frequent...i dun wan see "sorry" every morning when i wake up... i really not match wif him...but i scare 2 hurt him too...the taste of hurt wasnt good...
I feel tat im really a emotional gal...always change on the side of thinking...always action before think...it's my weakness..really a big mistake in my life...i feel so sorry 2 him...i hope 2 find a chance 2 have a talk wif him...but i really cant imagine wat will happen on next..............

MR.O??? MR.W???

These days...mr.o r keep on msg me...im still confusing whether should i believe on watever he said...mayb he really good on acting until i can fall in love with him(as again n again)...seriously...i feel very happy when he drop me a/more msg...can pretend as din receive it even not reply him...but wat am i suppose 2 do???he can easily grb my heart away...as my situation now...i feel tat my heart is going forwrd him...all sisters feel tat he is cheating me...scare im been hurt again...buti still love him...
Mr.w is my bf...feel sweet when i with him...he can do wat as i ask him 2 do...at here can say as "i can control him"..hehe...but i feel headache sometimes...coz i need 2 do all the decisions...where 2 go???wat 2 eat???wat do i like???all of it he always ask me...he is too soft...when im with him...i feel weird...v r same type of personality...actually im not really know him...im trying 2 ask...but the answer i get is "wat u said..wat i listen to"...it's how he answer me...
both of them confusing me...even mr.w is my bf...but i dun noe how im going 2 tell him...i scare he will been hurt...sometimes i ask myself...how could mr.w love me so much???even like tat...i still feel unsafety in our love...
Im helpless now...haizzz...or i need 2 take a rest 1st???

19th of August 2008

Maybe for others...it's just a normal date...but for me...it's really special...coz i had accepted him as my boy boy...i feel im lucky enough...coz i earn a gd man in my life...
Although he doesn't rich...dun hav car...not as tall as wat i set my target b4...but he has full of lovely...kindness...gentlemeness...caring...respectness...in his heart...i dun noe how long could v b...mayb juz a moment...but i really wish tat v can b as long as v can...he could b a perfect man in my heart...
Sometimes i really not too believe on wat he said...i scare 2 b hurt...he said i always said he is same as my ex...will not serious on our love...but sometimes i really cant control it..coz i always think tat all the guys r same...only ask for sex...even dun noe whether should i believe him..i noe tat every couple should trust their partner...but im weak on my confidence...i scare others will grab him away...i scare 2 b loser too...
I think i need times 2 prove it...
ok...florence+wah zai...gambateh lo...^.<

他结婚了,可是新娘不是"我"

今天突然收到他的信息...他要结婚了...可是新娘不是我...那种感受真的难以形容...压在内心已久的感觉突然在刹那间爆发出来...原来我还深爱着他...我从来没忘记他...
曾经何时,我爱他爱得无法自拔...也尝试忘了他...原本以为我已经成功了,没想到今天的那几个字却让我伤心难过...重新回到原点...可是当下的我却没有告诉他我的任何感受...他告诉我,他还是无法忘记我...很想念我,可是他却无法反抗他爸爸对他的安排...要他娶一个他不爱也对他没有任何感觉的女生...我当时快崩溃了!!!心情立刻掉进谷里...
爱人要结婚了,可是新娘却是她人...这个现实真的很难接受...可是他却无法反抗爸爸对他的安排...他的爸爸也是很大男人的...他越是反抗他的爸爸越是强迫他...现在的我不知所措...只懂得伤心和哭...真的不希望他会跟其他人结婚...我真的没办法接受!!!
我现在真的很后悔当初没有再次接受他...我以为自己可以撤除和他的一切...可是我并没办法办到...我真的很爱他...我现在很痛苦...我很想告诉你...
          胜...我爱你...你可以不要跟她结婚吗??????

你爱的人未必是爱你的人;但是爱你的人将会是你爱的人...

这一句名言是我从我的老师-钟洁希的口中得知的...我相信选择爱我的人作我的另一半,这将会是幸福的...因为感情真的可以培养的,他/她爱你将会不惜任何代价付出一切...赴汤蹈火也在所不辞...那是多么幸福和感人的...
爱一个人是很辛苦的,每份每时每刻都需要在意他/她的感受...然而不清楚对方对自己的感觉是如何???常常处于不安的情绪...如果是被爱的话,就不必承受这些压力了...
如果现在可以让我作选择,我会选择与爱我的人在一起...因为会比较幸福...而且我会因为他对我的好,慢慢培养为"爱"...相信很多人都会如此...
爱情世界不一定是我们想象中复杂的...只要在对的时间遇见对的人,加上双方的宽容与包含,那么就可以得到幸福......

a DOWN DOWN day

2day my best sister suddenly ask me some question..."why u seen like untalkative on these days??" "why u dun like 2 talk wif her n look cool when talk wif her recently??"...
How could i answer the question???im shot by the time...until now...i still feel very embarress when i face her...couldnt imagine the image of wat she said 2 me b4 and the image of her & jolin...wan me 2 believe her...but she hurt me too...wat's the wrong actually???how do u wan me 2 face u after those of it happened...i couldnt make it without time...im a human...i need time on everything...even 2 4get it...plz giv me some time...and stand on my situation how could i been tat...
Mayb those incident not happen on u...so u cant touch the feel of it...most of u juz say tat it's easy 2 wrap away...honestly...until now...i still caring the moment when i having lunch wif the couple...but tat time i still act as nothing happen n dun care on her anymore....now...i tell u...it's hard...really hard...
Hope u all can giv me some time...i need 2 think over on wat im thinking...even wat did i wan...sisters...sorry 4 my changes recently...especially my attitude...become more cool n not 2 tell wat im doing n thinking.......

12-06-2008

这一天是我有生以来最难忘的一天。。。
那一天是我和我的姐妹为了要忘了贱男人的一天。。。
那天的我喝得很醉、新电话弄丢了、吸烟、乱抱男人、乱吐、坐在马桶边哭、当街大喊大哭大叫。。。
够糗了吧？？？我活了20年的淑女形象，在那一夜之间完全毁了。。。只要那天在现场的人，都一定会被我的所作所为给吓到。。。
现在回想起来，确实觉得很后悔为什么当时会那么做。。。为了男人而那么做真的很不值得，真的很傻。。。
从今开始，我要让自己变得更好、更完美。。。曾经何时，以为如果我是同性恋，那么我受到的伤害应该不会那么大，毕竟女人会更了解女人。。。但这都是错误的想法，被女人伤害比被男人伤害是更痛的。。。曾经想放下一切跟她在一起。。。她也曾经说她是真的很爱我。。。可是结果我却比不上一个她刚认识是两天的女生。。。
也因为爱情，才会发生12-06-2008的事件。。。现在的我从这一天得到教训了，没有一件事可以打倒我的，再苦的我都经历过了。。。我会比以往更坚强。。。姐妹们，相信我们都会。。加油！！加油！！加油！！

100分情人

你心目中的100分情人是如何的呢???
在我心目中,他将具备以下条件:
温柔
体贴
尊重
诚实
守时
专一
宽容
有肚量 
成就感
有风度

外表并不重要,如果你的外表长得很好看,可是你的内涵是丑陋的。。。那么有谁能够忍受呢???确实我的前任男友没有一个是我的100分情人,我必须一直在默默地容忍他们的脾气。。。
说得容易,做就难...要找个100分情人可不是件容易的事,毕竟每个人都是有缺点的,只要在自己能忍受的范围里那么他将会是我的Mr.Right。。。
然而，只要我的情人在每个条件中有7-8分那我就心满意足了。。。不过，专一和风度一定要满分哦。。。嘻嘻。。。^^

灰心

最近的我发生很多事
~车被碎镜
~用了不到一个月的电话被偷了
~爱情不顺利
~家人起冲突
~爸爸不让我养狗狗了

我最近对身边的朋友没有信心了、甚至是追求者。。曾经被他伤害，这一次是第二次。。同一件事、同一个人、同样的后果，在我的生命中发生两次。。我真的觉得自己很愚蠢，别人的警告我不听，偏偏选择相信他。。他常告诉我，他是不会伤害别人的，只会被伤害。。每当想起这句话，我都会反复在问“我被你伤害了两次，而且都是同一件事，你带你的女朋友来到我们面前，大方地介绍，难道这不是在伤害着我吗？？”
我承认，我在大家的面前都很大方，一直说不介意。。那是因为，我不希望大家因为我一个人而弄到大家不开心。。我本来以为有人会明白我的感受，可是后来我发现并没有。。开始对身边的朋友觉得失望了。。有时，最明白你的人并不是你最要好的。。。朋友。。并不需要很多，如果是真心的、了解你的、重视你的，只要一个就很足够了。。。
独自一个人也不错啊。。虽然每件都藏在心里，但至少情绪不会被影响。。。